Tips for taking the stress out of holiday shopping

Whether it’s a last-minute rush to the mall or a year-long obsession, the quest for the “perfect gift” has the potential to turn holiday shopping into an annual nightmare.

We may not think of shopping stress in these terms, but psychological approaches to self control or impulse control can keep even the most frantic of shoppers from dreading holiday shopping, says Edwin B. Fisher, Ph.D., professor of psychology in Arts & Sciences and director of the Division of Health Behavior Research at Washington University in St. Louis.

Psychologist offers tips for stress-free holiday shopping.
Psychologist offers tips for stress-free holiday shopping.

An expert on helping people gain control of personal habits, such as smoking and overeating, Fisher says many of the same techniques can be used to get a grip on holiday shopping.

“Obsessive holiday shopping often results from unrealistic expectations about how important it is to find the perfect gift,” notes Fisher, who is also a professor of medicine and pediatrics in the university’s School of Medicine.

“People need to realize that their presence in good cheer at family gatherings is probably much more important than the present given,” says Fisher.

While it’s not unusual for holiday shopping to cause occasional anxiety, those who find themselves dreading the task year after year should take time out for a bit of self-examination, he says.

“Think about the sorts of problems you have each year and try to place them in categories. Do you always overspend, have difficulty making up your mind, or wait until the last minute? Identify problems and take steps to deal with them.”

Edwin Fisher
Edwin Fisher

The basic principle is pretty simple. “If you can categorize your problems,” Fisher explains, “then you can anticipate them, and if you can anticipate them, you can take steps to avoid or control them.”

Fisher offers these tips:

  • If the problem is overspending, identify the circumstances surrounding it (e.g., using the credit card, shopping at a store with easy credit) and avoid them. Take out money from the bank and quit when it’s gone, or avoid the stores with enticements to expand credit.
  • Difficulty making up your mind? Identify gifts that are “good enough” for each person on your list and then set a time limit on how long you can look for the “great gifts” before going ahead with the good enough.
  • The Mall Paradox: We may think that a mall with thousands of options will make it easier to find the right present. But all those options may just jam our channels and make it harder to think and decide. The calm of a smaller shop, perhaps even with a pleasant clerk, can bring alive your decisiveness — and creativity! It can also make a big difference to sit down ahead of time and write a shopping list in the quiet of your own home. You may find yourself much more creative in a quiet environment than in the busy mall.
  • Waiting until the last minute? Of course, there’s planning ahead, but folks already know that. You may be susceptible to the illusion of endless time. We tend to hit Thanksgiving thinking there’s lots of time and then find ourselves at Dec. 24th. Thinking there’s lots of time available, we wait for the perfect shopping moment to materialize — and it never does! You may need to schedule some shopping time for yourself.
  • Chronic procrastinators might consider setting an early date to begin shopping and start by creating a list of people who will be getting gifts. Keep the list handy and add to it as you think of gift ideas. Having that list handy may also prompt recognition of some easy opportunities to pick up a few items from it.
  • Put it all in perspective. In addition to making lists of gifts for different people and times to go shopping, try sitting down and listing out what’s important to you in the holidays. Then see how the shopping fits into that. You may find putting it in that context sheds some new light on some of your old shopping stressors.
  • The Express Mail Bailout. While Fisher urges others to shop early, he admits that one of his favorite holiday-rush coping strategies is relying on the wonders of next-day parcel service. “Don’t forget the value of express mail in making it — almost — never too late to start shopping. For a little added cost, especially if I buy presents that don’t weigh much, I’m able to avoid worrying about holiday shopping for most of December. I delay my worry until after the 20th and compact it into four days! It’s a little indulgence, but for a relatively small amount of money, it saves a lot of anxiety,” he says.