The annual gratuity guilt trip

To tip or not to tip — and whom to tip and how much? These questions get sticky during the holiday season, when the spirit of giving, or at least tipping, becomes fraught with anxiety, guilt and pressure.

According to an online survey of 3,100 people by Consumer Reports last year, 42 percent of respondents said they didn't tip any of the people they rely on regularly, like housekeepers, newspaper carriers or hairdressers.

Many of those surveyed said they were unsure whether to tip this time of year, but I bet there's another reason: they're fed up with the whole ordeal. As one New York colleague told me: ''I feel ill when I think about tipping. I think last year we gave close to $1,000.'' She said that the list began with the 13 members of her building staff and went on from there.

Thomas P. Farley, author of ''Modern Manners: The Thinking Person's Guide to Social Graces'' (Hearst Books, 2005), agreed that city dwellers face a mind-boggling number of potential people to tip, ''because of all the service people we deal with on a regular basis'' — from manicurists to dog walkers to delivery people of all stripes.

But Leonard Green, psychology professor at Washington University in St. Louis, who studies tipping behavior, said that this wasn't just an urban phenomenon, and it was not limited to a particular time of year. ''You're inundated -- and you're being asked to tip in situations where you never were before,'' said Professor Green, citing the ubiquitous tip jar now in coffee shops and at takeaway counters.

But pressure to tip intensifies during the holidays, he said. ''It used to be that you'd tip people who'd done work for you all year. Now anyone who does anything is supposed to get a tip this time of year.''

•	The Annual Gratuity Guilt Trip The New York Times, Saturday, Dec. 3, 2005 Byline: M.P. Dunleavey

	Story also ran in 1 others:  United Press International