College and universities find it difficult to enforce a line between a parent's involvement and interference

Martha Thomas plans to call and e-mail her oldest son, Richard, on a regular basis during his first year at Rice University. But she isn't she sure how often, perhaps once or twice a week.

"I'll try not to be a pest," she said Sunday after helping him unload his stuff into a dorm room.

Richard then suggested that she not call him, he'll call her.

These days, colleges and universities nationwide are trying to set similar ground rules in response to an increasing number of hovering moms and dads - "helicopter parents" - who tend to swoop in at their child's slightest setback. Educators worry that intrusive parents undermine the life lessons learned outside of the classroom.

At Rice's orientation, university President David Leebron told parents that their children will change while on campus. He encouraged them to offer advice, but said, "We hope you keep in mind that the college experience is theirs to navigate."

Educators say the cultural shift in parental involvement began when the millennial generation - children born after 1982 - became college freshmen. Theories abound to explain the change, including the pressure increasingly fierce competition to get into the best universities and rising tuition, the closeness of smaller families and concerns about campus safety.

Cell phones, meanwhile, have allowed parents to stay more connected than before. About three of every four parents communicate two or three times a week with their children at college, with roughly one-third of parents talking with their students on a daily basis, according to a recent College Parents of America survey.

Some educators expressed concern about the frequent contact, saying it could stunt self-reliance. But many students do not seem to mind when parents call professors to justify grades or intervene in roommate disputes.

"I think part of growing up is learning how to solve problems on your own," Karen Levin Coburn, assistant vice chancellor for students at Washington University in St. Louis and co-author of Letting Go: A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years. ...

•	College and universities find it difficult to enforce a line between a parent's involvement and interference Family 101: No syllabus for letting go Houston Chronicle, Monday, Aug. 21, 2006 Byline: Mathew Tresague